On Glass Ceilings

http://www.theglasshammer.com/news/2009/11/17/do-women-create-their-own-glass-ceilings/

Maybe. Or, perhaps, it's just that the women, some of whom are highly perceptive, correctly see who gets the gold stars and who is expected to be good and do what they're told and wait. After a while, you know, they get tired, and they give up.

Erwin Griswold was the Dean of Harvard Law School (my alma mater) when women were first admitted: in 1950. During my 3L year, Dean Griswold returned to be feted as a hero of women's rights. I was a 3L and editor-in-chief of one of the law reviews. That made me a "woman leader" on campus and so, I was invited to meet with him.

Dean Griswold was very proud of himself on this august occasion. He told us selected few "women leaders" how, as a result of WWII and the important work that women did filling in for men who were fighting on the front, society widely perceived that women's roles had changed. As Dean Griswold explained, he precociously understood that, at long last, the time had come for Ivy League women lawyers (never mind that Yale had accepted women since 1919).

Given that realization "during the war," I asked why it had taken until 1950 for the first women to be admitted. A softball! Dean Griswold knew the answer to that one. Naturally, they couldn't admit women right away in 1945. That would have been terribly unfair to our boys, to have to give up their slots to women! They had had to wait three, four, even five years for this chance. (How many decades had the women been waiting?) So, Dean Griswold did the right thing, the fair thing, and made the decision to defer women until 1950 so that even more boys could go to law school. He was very self-righteous about that, and couldn't see any irony at all.

Things like that used to shock me. But I've grown up a lot since then. And yet, are there colleagues of mine who, perhaps, still cannot see the irony?

We have come far. And yet, there are still miles to go before we sleep.

Counting the Types - Part I

As a Diversity Coordinator, this resonated. More on the counting of the types later.

http://kenliu.name/simplicitas/2009/10/27/law-firm-demographics-or-why-john-grisham-has-no-idea-what-hes-talking-about/

Winning and Losing

We won a big case today, the culmination of my last eight years. I'm grinning from ear to ear. And yet, have you ever noticed that the wins are never as wonderful as the losses are terrible? Why is that? And is that the reason that we keep going? Because pure joy is so elusive?

Courtesy

I'm recently back from a week in New Orleans on business. Each time I am in the deep South, I re-remember that it is still a different world, particularly when it comes to men and women.

In the South, the rules remain clear. Gentlemen open doors for women, and women? Women walk right through those open doors. They smile slightly, and say, "Thank you."

In the North, women like me tend to bristle over such things. We toss our heads at the courtesy, an annoyed moue broadcasting the thought, "I am no different from you, why hold the door for me?" We decline the offer: "No, really, that's ok. Please go ahead." The "please" is emphasized. Most Northern men (that forty-odd percent who still hold doors for women), shrug and do as they're told. But others - maybe their mothers were Southern, or more likely, their fathers - continue to insist. And the woman stands her ground, and the man keeps insisting, and everyone gets cold waiting for someone, anyone!, to walk through that door. Someone has to give in, and that's how it feels, like a surrender.

A true gentleman does not insist on forcing his courtesy on a woman. But any polite person - female or not - knows when to accept a courtesy with a smile without overthinking the underlying intent.

I'm still learning this lesson. As a young lawyer, I always stood my ground. "No, no, I can carry that 75 lb bag up four flights of court house stairs (in heels). Don't you dare try to help me." But somewhere along the way, I came to understand, all those gentlemen were my friends, and they were trying to help me. And what could possibly be wrong with that? And what could possibly be wrong with having the confidence in myself to understand that I am not lessened by accepting help or courtesy.

It's all in the intent. And truly, it's almost always good. So when in Rome, or New Orleans, walk through that door already!