Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Laws of Men and Women in the Workplace - Part II

More observations. For numbers 1 - 3 1/2, see my prior post: The Laws of Men and Women in the Workplace - Part I

4.   Respect people's schedules and non-work lives. Plan to accomplish work, whenever possible, during relatively normal business hours. All of us in this line of work understand that we will have to work a lot of nights and weekends, that we have to be available at odd hours, and that we will have to miss family time, vacations, and other personal commitments from time to time. That's part of our reality. But there are times when it is unavoidably necessary, and times when its simply a matter of one person's scheduling priorities being deemed more valuable than another's. Save the crazy hours for when it is truly necessary, based on extreme deadlines and court/client-imposed obligations, not based on poor planning of other lawyers whose nights and weekends are free. This is important to everyone-not just women-but women are often particularly sensitive about commenting on it because they are concerned (justly) that complaints will be perceived as whining or as evidence that women are not able to survive in our workplace.
Consider the following examples:
  • How many times have you heard someone embrace both of the following parallel but inconsistent thoughts: (a) "Let's not schedule the meetings for Thursday afternoons because Joe is coaching his son's soccer team this fall. He's sgreat with the kids." And (b) "Jane couldn't make it. I think her daughter has a ballet recital or something. Who knows? Let's just go ahead without her."
  • How many times has someone convened a meeting at 4:30, rather than 3:30, simply because they lost track of time and had to go to the gym at lunch, without considering that day-care may have a 5:30 pick-up deadline?
One way to make clear to everyone that family and vacations and personal commitments are important is to be open about one's own. For example, don't just say, "I'll be out of pocket that day" (because you're embarrassed or worry you'll be judged for what you're going to be doing). Say, "I'm sorry. We can't do it Wednesday unless absolutely necessary because I promised my daughter I'd help her move." Be open about your other commitments. By doing so, you validate everyone else's complicated life and make it possible for us all to navigate each other's priorities more effectively.


         5.    Keep in mind that women tend to carry around huge loads of guilt. When we work full time, it is perceived as selfish and a "choice" we have made to the detriment of our children, lovers, etc.. We are constantly battling against that. We feel that we are failing everyone by not having enough time for anyone. For many women, if that burden becomes too great, work will be the first thing we will give up because that is the "correct" societal choice to make and we will be praised for it. As a result, it's important not to add to the guilt load of women associates. 


         6.   Don't make choices for a woman based on what you think she would want. Let her make them herself. For example, don't assume that someone will not want to work on a particular matter because it involves a lot of travel. If you want her to work on it, ask her. Give her the right to make that decision herself.


7. Do not assume that women will get along well with other women simply because we are all, well, women. Sometimes we like each other and sometimes we're incredibly hard on and competitive with each other. Women often get along better with men, particularly women who have succeeded in male institutions.

No comments:

Post a Comment